The Name of This Album is…
Hey everyone, I’ve got some exciting news! The album is mixed! And it also has a title ~
Love and Sex and Fear of Death
The next step is mastering the album. In the meantime I’ll continue to compile all the elements needed to make this release as spectacular as I can. Things like album art, music videos, lining up performances, all for the projected release time of spring 2024!
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The songs that make up this album have been my way of navigating the existential anxiety that is a part of the human experience, especially in these loud and troubling times. The pandemic cracked open the egg of ego and reality, alongside my own changing grasp of what life is as I dip into my late thirties. I continue to be struck, suddenly aware in moments as they unfold, that I am looking through a doorway into the past, from the other side now. Which is usually followed by another, more ambiguous understanding, that, god willing, there will be many doors ahead in which to peer back at myself, as I am now. I guess that is to say, with every new insight, the size of what I know becomes smaller to that which I do not know.
It seems that, for better or for worse, consciously and unconsciously, mankind is driven by love, sex and fear of death. We build up and pass on ego; a lineage of unknowing and how to bury the fear of what happens when we leave our bodies. We tell stories. Or more accurately, we retell stories. And oVersions of the stories our ancestors told. Rooted in caves, on the walls, made of dirt and spit and plants and rocks and animal fat. Certain stories need to be retold over and over again so that they can remain in our bones, and even though the words and the rhythms may change, if we are careful, we can speak clearly and profoundly to the future.
At certain points while making this album, I would start to feel a pressure, a push to hurry, get it out there. All around me, in all creative mediums, the same story is being told. It speaks volumes to the reverberations of the pandemic and it’s insidious effects on our collective psyche, as well, it also adds weight to the unfortunate belief that great art is born of great suffering. (Side note: in my opinion, though probably true, it only shines a light on humankind’s strength and perseverance.) “What if I get lost in the shuffle?” I’d worry. “What if everybody beats me to it and there is no more room for this story to be told.” Then, with stark and thrilling clarity, it occurs to me what a foolish worry this is. The more voices there are expressing this unrest, this fear, this anger, this anxiety, with and through art, opening our hearts up collectively to deeper possibilities, the louder the message will be! How exciting! We are not alone and we cannot escape the inevitable, despite what the big machine wants to sell us. We all die, money isn’t real and love is the only thing that matters. I continue to search for peace in that knowledge. Some days it is the abyss. But some days the abyss transforms, momentarily sharing glimpses of something bigger than us, something beautiful and infinite, some meaning.
Wherever you are on your journey, know that you are not alone. I can only hope that something in these songs finds you, touches your heart and shows you a glimpse of what’s beyond the abyss.
with love,
Star Anna
